I was brought up in a family that went to church every Sunday so I learnt all the so-called familiar Bible stories in Sunday school. As I became an adult and launched into life on my own I quickly realised that I was quite bad at being good. There’s a word the Bible uses to describe my life: sinful.

I sometimes think it’s really confusing being a Christian. Mostly we learn about our faith from the people around us which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. We learn all kinds of things about God which sometimes can feel contradictory.

Come as you are… but change in all these ways, be more like Jesus

Be yourself, but don’t do that in church or near church people

God loves you but he doesn’t like this, this and this so stop

For whatever reason, I often do not feel loveable. And I can get myself in the loop of believing that I must be perfect in order to be worthy of love. This is true for being loved by God and also for being loved by people. So, it’s been necessary to unpack the difference between performance-based value and intrinsic value. This is what I came up with.

If you were to be out walking on day in an area known for precious minerals and came across a diamond the size of your hand you would know that stone was of extremely high value (and assuming you recognised what it was, of course). It might look just like scruffy quartz but with the right treatment it might one day sit in a tiara or a ring (or more likely many pieces of jewellery if it was indeed the size of your hand). Someone with the right knowledge of precious gems would treat the unpolished stone with the same esteem as they would their grandmother’s diamond ring because they would know its intrinsic value. Even in its present state, a diamond merchant would pay a lot of money for it. Once it was cut and polished and set, there would likely be more potential buyers as they were reassured of the mineral’s beauty and saw its purpose. To be of value in the eyes of a consumer, the diamond needs to go through certain processes and be conformed to some determined image. To be of value to a diamond dealer, the diamond needs only to be itself.

I think God has certain motives for desiring us to move away from behaviours that hurt ourselves or others. I think he desires we live lives that show we follow him, and that we talk about him so that others can come to know him too. I think he knows so much more than us about absolutely everything that any commands he might give are definitely for our own good, even if we don’t see how. But I don’t think his desire that we do this or that in any way impacts how much he loves us.

But I don’t think God’s desire that we do this or that in any way impacts how much he loves us.

It has never been a surprise to him that humanity cannot reach the standard he requires for admission into his kingdom. And because it’s never been a surprise to him that we don’t measure up, so it’s illogical to think that his love for us would ever be based on how we behave. We are totally loved, and this love is independent of how we are: his love is unchangeable.

The Lord is merciful! He is kind and patient, and his love never fails. The Lord won’t always be angry and point out our sins; he doesn’t punish us as our sins deserve. How great is God’s love for all who worship him? Greater than the distance between heaven and earth! How far has the Lord taken our sins from us? Farther than the distance from east to west! Just as parents are kind to their children, the Lord is kind to all who worship him

Psalms 103:8-13 CEV

We can often think this is true for others, but forget to accept it for ourselves. To help with that, put the the sentences in the ‘first person.’
It is no surprise to God that I fail and sin and mess-up and fall short, and God’s unmeasurable and unchangeable love for me is not dependent on how or what I do. Say it out loud for as many times as you need. I’ll be over here doing the same thing.