Regarding the first action for this past week, technically I did not plan today’s entry. But I did start thinking about what I’m trying to achieve with the entries. I want the milestone of publishing something, and I want to keep track of my progress. I’m not sure whether repeating what my actions are each week makes sense. Maybe it’s just clutter? Does it still meet my higher level goal (regularly publish something) if it’s just nonsense? Probably not.

So what should I write? I want to share the limping, stumbling journey of trying to become a ‘real’ writer. It’s a complicated walk. There is lots of self doubt and ugly self-criticism going on, with just enough bursts of enthusiasm to prevent the actual official quitting. The more I read from ‘real’ writers, the more encouraged I am that they also struggled with the exact same thing. My writing might not be great. My writing might not be meaningful. My writing might not be read by anyone else. My writing may cause me self-conscious trouble, but I cannot stop writing. That is the hope I cling to: that the inability to stop writing is the defining characteristic of a writer. Still, telling people you want to be a writer is hard.

So, perhaps instead of writing out what my goals are, I will just skip ahead to what I feel like I did well. The things that moved me forward.

 

In my weekly schedule I wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t a disaster. I did my big monthly food shop and half the menu plan for March. I completed three physio sessions (two without my therapist which shows particular self discipline, I think). I read every day. I need to do more cleaning. Boo. But my arm… hence the physio…

 

I did a bit more of my Udemy course, but not a lot. I am supposed to be defining my audience for my writing and also my personality. This goes against the theorem that writers write because they can’t not write. I suppose that’s the difference between writing for commercial profit and writing as a writer. I do not want to be stuck between the two extremes where I’m not writing from my heart and my imagination because a course tells me I need to do such-and-such first, but neither am I strategically writing ‘for the likes’. That seems to me to be a waste of time, energy and heart. I think I need to think about this and see where I lie.

My current works-in-progress are not written with any audience in mind. But perhaps this website should be. Perhaps I need to go back to my list from last week about why I’m doing each of my things to remind myself.

 

I pulled together my notes and started writing an outline for the idea I felt prompted to pursue last week. It’s on waiting. Waiting for God to answer my prayers. Waiting for my circumstances to change. Waiting for healing. Waiting for salvation. Waiting. I think I know how I will write it, and I so I want to outline the sections. This is something so close to my in my life, trying to follow Jesus’ example while dealing with sorrows and painful events in life.

Regarding my fiction WIP I’ve realised I don’t know what to make as my writing milestones. One piece is 70k+words and the other is 85k+ I think. Perhaps I should to choose one and then look at each character and sketch out his/her development over the course of the work to see whether they change. That will help me determine whether the scenes are progressing the story. I have read a fair bit about how dreadful first drafts are and so I’m a little intimidated by my own terribleness.

 

I have read all but one evening. I lost my colouring chart to show my progress. I think I need to print it out again. I also think I need to choose to read fiction before sleep.