No one wants to face pain. Humans seem reasonably conditioned to avoid it with strategies of all kinds: distractions, medications, general denial. All-in-all we’re mostly not pro-pain. So, why would Downs today ask us to face our pain?

Annie F. Downs argues that facing our pain makes us deal with it. Physical pain in our bodies generally signals that something’s wrong to spur us to take action before we’re damaged. Perhaps other pain can cause damage too if it’s ignored or ineffectively treated.

Different pains have different causes but, in my experience, other people are commonly involved. Right now in my life I’m experiencing pain from a difficult relationship with a family member. I don’t feel I can cut myself off from this person, and I don’t think that would make me feel less pain anyway! I’m also experiencing pain from a group of people talking about me behind my back and gossiping. I can’t avoid every place that group frequents without leaving the area! Even if I chose to ignore my pain, it doesn’t actually go away: I merely get better at wearing a mask until I can wear it all the time. No, I can’t remove the source of the pain, but I can take it to my comforter. I can write about it to clarify and process what I’m feeling. I can think carefully about why certain names or phrases or episodes hurt me; I can ask myself what specific feelings they trigger in me. I can take those feelings to God and ask him to show me what’s true and what isn’t, what’s helpful and what’s not.

I listened to a beautiful message this week from a woman who suffered a stroke over a decade ago while in her 20s. She spoke very candidly about the sting of pain, even when looking back, and even while knowing that God was with you and even with realising He worked miracles that would otherwise have been unrevealed. Christian platitudes often do not instantly make us feel better, however well intentioned they are. Truths may be true but in the midst of pain we often just want understanding and empathy.

Pain hurts. Facing our pain can also hurt. But not facing our pain, that can mean we hurt for longer than we need to. Facing our pain can also be the fastest way to meaningful personal growth. So, face your pain. You can do it! You can be brave!