First steps can seem daunting.
For me, I’m great at ideas but the going out and doing gets me scared. Sometimes I can get enough brave on to take the first one or two steps, but then I retreat: I’m afraid again, overwhelmed, put off by negativity (real and/or perceived), and then discouraged by my lack of progress.
I have been brave lately, I choose to say that aloud even though it feels a bit prideful. Here goes:
- I wrote a story and told people about it
- I opened up my largely disused website for a Book Chat that currently over 32 women have signed up to
- I moved country.
I got good feedback for the story, even from people who don’t know me. Now I want to create resources to help people build relationships and community where they are. But I feel unqualified.
I should be encouraged so many women want to share their thought on Annie F. Downs’ book through a platform that I opened. But I feel I might let them down.
I am in my new country. But I feel overwhelmed with the list of things I still need to do and with the weight of responsibility
First steps for me?
- Drafting the YouVersion bible reading. (Not committing to send it to them yet lol)
- Finishing writing today’s blog post and then doing tomorrow’s (one day at a time right?)
- All that overwhelming list of stuff to do in this new city? I’d rather hide under a pillow. But maybe I’ll commit to writing a todo list.
What about you?
Love, Your brave-and-at-the-same-time-terrified-friend
By the grace of God I am what I am and God made you to be you.
You have the body God gave you. You were born at the time and place he determined.
And and he has given each of us particular gifts to use along with a measured amount of grace for using them.
This means that you and I frequently must battle against comparing ourselves with others.
I wonder how many of us have felt the pull of this when contemplating to write or not to write a 100Days reflection. Yesterday, I must have stared at Day 4 on and off for hours. Keeping the page open on my phone just in case I miraculously found something clever or insightful to post. Something that wasn’t too this or that ~ just right in the middle of enough.
It occurred to me this morning following a conversation with a patient friend who loves me even on my ugliest days that when we look at others either directly or indirectly, like this online book study that miraculously spans across the globe, and don’t see the grace of God through our shared experiences, but instead focus on reflections of our own inferiority into which we are asking, “Who’s the fairest one of all?” … We. Miss. Out.
Who wants that?
The problem is that we can’t stop comparing. Comparison is a fundamental part of being human, because it’s how we acquaint ourselves with reality. The very first thing Adam did when he saw Eve was to write his own brief compare and contrast essay. “She’s like me! Only different!”
What if, rather than pretending not to notice that someone is excelling (while we’re scraping by), we honored them by giving thanks to God for their obedience, diligence, and their example of Christ that we can follow? What if we started observing then more closely, making more comparisons rather than less, so that we could tease out the principles of godliness present in their life and do likewise?
Leading our comparisons in the right direction — away from envy, pride, and self-pity; towards Christlike imitation will turn us into better friends, mentors, and spouses.
Our differences are Gods design.
It’s a positive if we choose to see it that way.
So today I say we all just go for it.
Start.
Whatever “it” is.
For some starting will look like making that phone call, that appointment, that application or maybe it’s getting out of bed today and choosing to look in the mirror and say that different is good and celebrated by our Father in Heaven as well as the people gathered around this 100 Day conversation.
Maybe you are like me, reading along and enjoying 100Days but feel silly or like you don’t have anything of qualifying substance or eloquence to say ~ perhaps today is the day you start with “hello my name is … and I am starting today just as I am”
So before I reread this for the 10x and delete it I am going to just post… starting…
Thanks Jen for being so authentic. I’m glad to read I’m not the only one who worries when writing comments. (I’ve written that last sentence 3 times.) I shall pray as you suggest.
Right now I’m thankful God’s brought all you women to read this book; every comment I’ve read has resonated with me. I’m grateful for how you women express yourselves so well
I alwaaaaaays feel pressure to be profound or insightful. Definitely struggle to sit down and write on my tired days when my brain doesn’t have much to offer. But say tonight with another woman on our staff team and we talked for 2 hours about how we work – what we do similarly, how our strengths are different, how we can learn from each other. And we both left and felt compelled to message and say thanks – something life giving about being able to open your heart to another woman and share freely what’s inside.
Whew this is good. This is something that I struggle with even when I think I’m done struggling with it. I work on this comparison thing and get my brave hat on and say its okay, I can do this as me and I don’t need to worry about how anyone else is doing it or what anyone else thinks about how I do it. That lasts for like 5 minutes. Who am I kidding, I still struggle with it and will constantly struggle with it. I think it gets easier, because I am able to recognize it easier now and I have good friends I can talk to when I’m in one of those moments who can help to snap me out of it and provide perspective much like this one. Our differences are Gods design. Amen to that! Lets do this our own way ladies and celebrate one another as we all continue to take steps forward in our own ways.
Amen!
Me too. Just. Me. Too. Thanks
❤️
So the big thing I need to start….my website for my business. Something about taking this step in my business feels so scary, even though I know its going to help and make things so much easier! I’m just afraid to be that out there, to be so exposed. But, you know what ladies, I’m done looking at other websites and I’m just starting. I’m going to just write and go for it. I started with the easiest thing, just a photo…because I feel I’m a terrible writer, so I haven’t actually written any of the content.
Today, I will start writing content.
Starting is brave. Well done. It can be exposing being brave… but you are choosing to do it anyway. Well done. Your bravery helps others (the business side) and inspires us (we can be just start too).
Your feeling that you don’t write well… compared to who?? Your website is yours. You write what you want how you want. If you think it can be improved later, improve it later. Love Tifainé
In this season for my husband and I, starting was the ‘easy’ part. God gave us such a peace about it that we moved countries and he switched careers with such excitement. Our challenge now that that part is done is ‘starting’ everyday and facing the adversity, the differences, and the naysayers in our new situation. We are focusing on the peace we had from God, trying to recognize the lies in these challenges and continuing to pray as we keep ‘starting’ and taking steps each day/week!
I pray for stamina and patience for you both as you navigate this next stage. Love Tifainé
Thank you Tifaine and Jen. Both immensely helpful and supportive.
I got out of bed and got dressed and did some chores. That’s it. But I did it.
Sometimes it’s hard not to compare. Not just with others but also with myself in the past. “I used to be able to do that, what am I doing wrong now?”
But am listening hard to see what this new me is supposed to be doing. One day at a time. One day at a time.
The saying “Comparison is the thief of all joy” is so true. But you’re very insightful to notice we also compare ourselves now to ourselves “then” and, of course, never favourably. Thanks for sharing that, it’s very helpful. You’re enough, Steph, just as you are. You’re doing good. Love, Tifainé
Just. Start. There is something liberating and freeing in doing that. I’ve spent many hours pouring over research or planning/preparing, that I’m exhausted and mentally spent when it comes time to actually do something. Most things are edit-able and will always be a work in progress. I love the word “try.”
That explains so much. I’ve realised that I procrastinate by researching. I can kid myself that the extra research is necessary, not really just me putting off starting. I hadn’t noticed the correlation between then feeling too tired to begin 😉
I love you said ‘most things are editable.’ I’m going to remember that! Love Tifainé
Just joining! Been reading this blog since yesterday – wondered where to join and then after reading day 5, knew right away, I’d join here. Starting. Always the hardest, always the small step requiring the biggest leap in the mind for some. Couldn’t get the book for various reasons, so will rely on your insights to reflect and share my thoughts.
For me, every day starts with each baby step into each part of the day. Some baby steps lead to the next and the next, and others I choose to let go then feel guilty for not completing this or that. It pressure I put on myself, expectations to push harder, do more. When I put pressure on myself, failure in imminent. Some days starting and one baby step at a time is the only manageable way to accomplish anything.
I don’t think you’re alone with that… Maybe instead of feeling guilty for not managing this or that, next time we can celebrate what we did accomplish? Starting… one step and then another step still moves us forward. Thank you for sharing, Susan—this certainly encourages me. Love Tifainé
Starting for me looks like committing to journaling. It means I will get real with my emotions and thoughts. It means looking for patterns of thought that inhibit growth and connection. It’s not change I’m looking for, but a growth journey where I can contribute to understand myself more to be more authentic, advocate for my needs, set healthy boundaries, process in habits ways and communicate more clearly with those in my life, ultimately loving myself more to love others. I was going to try to post my first entry, but it won’t load. You’ll have to believe that I did take that first step. 😉
That’s a fantastic goal! Understanding ourselves in order to move towards healthier mindsets is brave! Sorry your other post didn’t load, but I’m glad this one did! Love Tifainé
So, I want to be a part of the conversations, but I have not had the time to join. I have read each day, but it took me a while to sit down, process, and journal each of the lessons of each day. So, in a way, I am starting to get back into it now that I am at home and things are a bit slower. I hope it is okay to retrospectively comment on these because that is what I am about to do, starting with Day 5 and ending with Day 12. (Sorry to blast you with all my comments).
When I read Day 5, I had two thoughts of my “just start.” The first was my health journey. Sometimes I don’t feel like going for a walk. Sometimes I don’t feel like sitting down with Jesus. Sometimes I feel like just escaping from it all into a hole of my own Facebook and TV making. So often I have to just start, and I feel better for it. Consistency starts with one step at a time, and I have been making the steps to build that consistency in my life. I have a long ways to go, but I am better than I was because I started, and each day I have to just start again.
The second thought was with opportunities that are opening up in my community. I want to start to be more intentional with the relationships that have begun and will begin and the doors that God is opening for me to lead. I am scared to lead because I am scared that what I want to see for us is not what they want. I think the “just start” for now is bathing the new opportunity in prayer that the community and fellowship that we are trying to foster will be received and not resisted, will be intentional and relational, and will be unified not divided.
Of course! I’m so glad you’re in, your own pace is fine! You’re right about the one step at a time, I need to remind myself of this. I’d look forward to hearing how you get on and praying along with you.