Reading the introductory sections from Brené Brown’s book ‘The Gifts Of Imperfection’ and hearing how becoming wholehearted is a journey really resonated with me this week. I’m a big fan of the fresh start: I love September and January so much for the hopeful promise they bring of starting over and reinvention. Brené’s book was a bestseller for a long time with many, many sales and thousands of positive reviews but what profoundly struck me this week was the note at the front of the 10th anniversary edition. With humour, Brené honestly acknowledges her own struggle on the journey to wholeheartedness. Even 10 years in.
Yes, we may decide to buy Brené Brown’s book and practice the strategies she suggests, but ultimately, it’s not a like getting a tattoo, it’s more like trying to get into shape. We learn techniques and disciplines which, when practiced repeated, begin to show results. But when we stop doing the things we go backwards again. Or maybe the things we do don’t give us progress at the speed we want.
Guideposts
It’s interesting to me that Brené Brown chose to use the name ‘Guideposts’ to label the things she recommends we do to move towards wholehearted living. Guideposts fit the metaphor of movement: a journey. Except I know I’m never going to get to the destination. Hopefully, I will improve but I won’t ever be perfect. I must accept I am a work in progress. But accepting this isn’t easy for me. Honestly, I’m not a big fan of being a work in progress. I don’t like feeling like I’m failing or falling behind.
Living as a Christian Jesus-follower is a bit like journey
Considering how becoming wholehearted might be like a journey caused me to reflect on how my life as a Jesus follower is also like a journey. For my faith, yes there was once a day where I recognised myself as a sinner who could only be saved by a perfect saviour but since that day I’ve still been me. I’ve not always been great at following the model Jesus set for me…in fact, I’ve been unkind and unloving, made some terrible choices and frequently forgotten or abandoned known helpful practices.
Yet, instead of getting stuck in a ‘shame storm’ dwelling on my failings and how far I fall short, I can remember that I’m not expected by God to be anything less than what I am. Nothing I do is a surprise to him and he loves me anyway.
That’s me staying on my faith journey.
Staying the course
I try to keep learning more things and practising some spiritual disciplines more regularly (so that they can help support me, not because they are required)—but how far I get and what I achieve is not how God measures my worthiness. He considers me valuable as I am. While I might seem unworthy, he considers me worthy quite apart from what I might or might not achieve.
Over time, I change. I’ve got better at loving people, better at being patient and kind, better at turning to God first for support rather than relying on my own feelings, got better at forgiving other people as I remember for what I’ve been forgiven. But I still mess up and I still forget.
Yet, I’m grateful for a God who knows life is like a perpetual journey. I’m grateful for God who has patience with me while I’m navigating it. I’m grateful for a God who doesn’t expect me to be perfect, or to follow a list of rules perfectly to get a reward at the end of my life.
Being loved ‘anyway’
I’m thankful for a God who knew I got things wrong a whole lot but loved me immensely anyway. I’m thankful for a God who knew I wouldn’t be able to work well enough to pay the debt I owed to get myself to heaven so send his son to pay the debt for me, no strings attached. I’m thankful for a God who wants to have a relationship with me even on the days when I’m not doing a great job at following the model his son set out for me.
I’m thankful for a God who endlessly forgives all my screw-ups and missteps, who never gets bored of hearing from me, who loves me perfectly and permanently.
I journey on. I press onwards towards a goal: being made perfect in heaven one day and being in a perfect relationship with God who is holy and perfect. I keep following Jesus who modelled to us how we can live well on earth, day by day, step by step.