Downs contends today that telling someone about the pain we face is instrumental to our success in working through it. I’ve learned that pain can come seemingly accidentally (either from something we’ve done or from someone or something external to us), pain can come deliberately from someone else on to us, or pain can come from circumstances we wilfully created ourselves. But however the pain got to us, it seems to hurt just the same. Not all pain has a sinful origin story, although many do. So, why would sharing our pain be helpful?

Firstly, I agree with Downs that whenever we keep a something painful a secret we give it more power to hurt us. The longer we keep it a secret, the harder it seems to be able to tell of it. Secondly, sharing something painful that we wish to overcome gives us access to more resources to help us: someone to check on how we’re doing, someone to help and love us, someone to offer advice if needed, someone to remind us of our value, and someone to demonstrate grace and forgiveness. Thirdly, I think sharing what causes us pain helps us help others. Pain is prevalent in our world and there will always be someone we’re ahead of in our journey, just as there’s always someone ahead of us.

If our pain is rooted in something sinful or harmful, Downs recommends we find someone to tell who has more authority than a friend. Once we’ve been brave enough to share our pain, we must also be brave enough to be accountable and accept advice.

I know this book is about our journey to brave, but I would like to remind myself (and perhaps you) to look up and out too. God didn’t choose us to be in this place and at this specific time to live in isolation. I don’t know what kind of community you’re a part of, but I encourage us all to remember to reach out to others we see. Just as we are learning we need people to encourage us and support us (and be brave enough to ask them) so we too can be the supporters and the encouragers to others. God is our comforter and counsellor, but we’re told by Paul in his letter to believers in Corinth: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, my emphasis added.) We know we’re not alone, let’s make sure others know they aren’t either.