Downs reminds again today that we need friends. Not just that they are a nice addition, but we need them. She believes she is a better person because of them. Friends can fulfil a different function to family, and, of course, we generally get to choose our friends. But… having friends and maintaining friendships requires effort.

I am quite terrible at maintaining friendships with people who live far from me. I can also be pretty terrible at pursuing friends who live close to me. Many of the reasons are the same for both failings: fear of rejection, fear of being too much, or not enough, too boring, too intense. We saw each other so recently, or it’s been too long. Fear I’m not good enough for them, not what they need, I’m taking too much of their time when they could be with someone better for them… I agree with Downs when she writes it takes courage. She says we need friends, and then she says “they need you”. They need us? Even with all the things I just wrote?

Downs closes with a challenge to call a friend we haven’t seen for a while. Let’s be brave.