I’m writing this one hour before day sixteen ends. I can’t put it off any longer. Truthfully, every time I try to write the words don’t come, or I cry, or, frequently, both of those things.
Annie’s anecdote feels like my own. Here I am in my new-again city, nearly at the end of week two. I remember telling my loved ones in Shanghai that I was leaving to go ‘home.’ We all knew it was the right thing to do. We all cried.
Nothing I wrote in previous drafts was I happy with. Everything seemed trite or inauthentic or morose. How do I speak encouragement to you, I panicked, when I feel sad myself?
In frustration I deleted everything and started again. Again, I prayed to God to help me. Because I’d deleted everything I had to retype the title. ‘You are never alone’ I typed. Something jogged me inside to check against the book once more. I’d missed out a word. The title for today is ‘Believe you are never alone.’ That extra word was the light-bulb I needed. I know the Bible verses about God being with me at all times, now I must be brave enough to believe it. Brave enough to believe it when God’s quiet and I don’t feel him close. Brave enough to believe it when life-details make things feel like a struggle. Brave enough to do believe when it’s easier to complain. Brave enough to worship the God I can’t always feel or see. Brave enough to believe God has a purpose for me right here.
That’s a whole lot of brave. But that’s what led me to this devotional book in the first place. I want to be braver in my faith.
Lord, I’m willing to be brave and I’m trying; help me in the inbetween. I love you. Amen.
That resonated so true with me. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 139:7-10. I often repeat it and post it and am always reminded of it, but still my heart struggles to believe he is there. Still my heart hates the moments when I gather to meet with him and it feels like he is miles away. It is in those moments that I close my eyes and picture sitting on the edge of a canyon and leaning into his arms as we silently watch the stars appear. That’s where I go when I don’t feel him, and my heart has learned to know he is there still. He is in that quiet. He is in that silent, and it is ok and enough to just be there in it and trust he is there.
That’s a great verse & great imagery to help focus too!
I feel alone. And I when I feel like this I just keep myself so very busy doing mundane and often unnecessary chores. And then I miss out. And I don’t have the energy to do important things. Like repose to this properly. Sorry. I’ll try and focus.
I think it’s easy to feel alone. It was very difficult for me to write this day’s post as Annie’s devotional resonated so much I kept crying. And the crying and the feeling alone made me choose to fill my time with distractions (and mundane things like you say). When it clicked that I needed to believe I was not alone, I still had a choice. It took energy for me to believe in that moment. Just like we talked about a few days ago (with identity) I literally repeated scripture until I had the strength to do it (and I’m not sure I believed it well the first few times). Strength came through choosing to believe the scripture, I can’t explain it.
PS no apologies needed to me (us) for not posting ❤️ Love you, Tifainé
“Brave enough to believe it when God’s quiet and I don’t feel him close. Brave enough to believe it when life-details make things feel like a struggle. Brave enough to do believe when it’s easier to complain. Brave enough to worship the God I can’t always feel or see. Brave enough to believe God has a purpose for me right here.”
You said this so beautifully. Belief and the struggle of the world pulling us into distraction that we fail to trust His promises or forget His words. Lord, fill our hearts with Truth and help us to overcome our doubts. ❤️
‘Fill our hearts with truth and help us overcome our doubts’ Amen
I missed a couple days so I’m catching back up. Thanks for the thoughts from these posts-so good! Will y’all say a prayer I can be brave enough to believe I’m not alone? That’s definitely something I struggle with being a single mom. 🙏🏼
Praying for you tonight Sarah. You are definitely NOT alone, so I pray you feel that deep in your heart, and permanently. Parenting alone is tough and tiring, for sure. You are brave! Keep calling on the one who gives real comfort and strength. I’m calling out on your behalf too. We may feel lonely, but we are not alone. I sometimes fall asleep repeating Matthew 28:20 where Jesus says, “Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Maybe that reminder will help you too. Love, Tifainé